|
Post by Sophie on Mar 25, 2015 8:33:21 GMT
But Golliwogs were designed to be offensive, they were making fun of the way people of colour look. Just because people back then thought it was funny, doesn't mean we should. It's fine to still have one from when you were a child, and to still have fond memories attached to it but today's children shouldn't have them.
|
|
xebi
Full Member
Posts: 144
|
Post by xebi on Mar 25, 2015 10:38:56 GMT
I think I will have to respectfully disagree with you on the intent thing, mrgbh. I believe that if you (accidentally or otherwise) contribute to oppressive systems or behaviours, then your impact is far more significant than your intentions.
Less honourable people than you often use this as an excuse. They think their ignorance is an excuse for not caring if they hurt someone. I think that if you see someone get hurt or if you hurt someone, even if you didn't mean to, then it's your responsibility to learn from that so you don't hurt them again.
Some people will of course be offended by everything you do because they've chosen to be oversensitive. But we're not talking about those people.
If you accidentally trod on someone's foot in a crowded bar, you probably wouldn't protest that it wasn't your fault and you couldn't possibly have seen their foot through the crowd so you're not to blame. You would probably apologise and move your foot so you weren't hurting them any more.
If the golliwog is my foot (as a White person) and oppression of Black people is the pain caused by my foot stamping on theirs, then I will damn well move my foot as soon as I realise it's there.
|
|
mrgbh
Full Member
Posts: 188
|
Post by mrgbh on Mar 25, 2015 23:18:10 GMT
I'm going to borrow Xebi's analogy and expand on it, in order to clarify what I mean. Assuming I'm the victim there are five possibilities.
1) It was unintentional and they make amends. Basically, they step on my foot and say sorry. No matter how much it may have hurt, I will forgive them. I even had my foot broken once, but the guy who did it offered to drive me to hospital and was very apologetic. Of course I'm not going to get angry at him.
2) It was unintentional but they don't care. In this scenario the person's response to my scream of pain is "Whatever." While I would certainly be upset, I wouldn't wish any ill back. It's just not worth it.
3) It was intentional but they make amends. My favourite Frozen line is spoken by one of the trolls. "People make bad choices when they're mad or scared or stressed." Sure, the person may have wanted to harm me, but if they realise later that they feel guilty about it and try to make it up to me, I'll give them that chance. Of course, if they keep hurting me, then eventually their words will ring hollow. But I'll always give people the benefit of the doubt.
4) It was intentional and they don't care. This is the bad one. In the analogy, it's like someone in a bar stamping on my foot and then saying "What're you gonna do about it?" By response would always be to leave. I don't have to remain around people who hurt me and don't care.
5) It was intentional and they intend to keep doing it. In the analogy this is where the above guy follows me out of the bar and clubs me around the back of the head. In the real world, this represents hate crimes and harassment. This is the kind that requires laws and their enforcement.
I would place Golliwogs into either 1 or 3. Personally I don't think they were intended as offensive but I can see how they could be considered as such. And in that day and age there was far worse. Heck, even Mickey Mouse was racist back then.
|
|
|
Post by CeeEmStone on Apr 1, 2015 13:40:46 GMT
What kind of asshole breaks up with their partner of five years the night before April Fool's Day? The actual (and unceremonious) break up is it's own thing that I can easily justify why I'm so upset over.
...but the date. We go from wedding plans to me heartbroken in one night and people literally think it's a joke. Jesus Christ.
|
|
|
Post by wonderbink on Apr 1, 2015 15:04:55 GMT
Ouch! That sucks. I'm sorry to hear that. That is terrible timing. Then again, there's really no good day to drop a bombshell like that.
|
|
mrgbh
Full Member
Posts: 188
|
Post by mrgbh on Apr 1, 2015 15:46:35 GMT
When I broke up with my ex I did it on New Year's eve. The idea was that it would then be something that happened last year and therefor this year could be better. The year that started with her getting over me, not the year that started with me breaking up with her.
I still felt like a horrible person for it.
But yeah, last day of March is really bad timing.
|
|
|
Post by rhiannon on Apr 2, 2015 11:51:49 GMT
That is really terrible, CeeEmStone. Especially when you had been together so long and had wedding plans, so people probably just couldn't believe you had split up. Well, I guess you are better off without someone like that!
|
|
xebi
Full Member
Posts: 144
|
Post by xebi on Apr 2, 2015 15:52:59 GMT
Aw, shit. I'm sorry man. At least they didn't wait until the morning of the 1st, but that's no comfort when you're feeling like you do now. Please make sure you're kind to yourself and take good care.
|
|
|
Post by rhiannon on Apr 11, 2015 12:15:12 GMT
On a lighter note...one thing that annoys me as a Brit living in Germany is when I hear Germans go on about British food being bad! I don't mind so much when it is Italians or French people, but GERMANS? Come on! The traditional German food is every bit as stodgy as traditional British food. And British food has got a lot better anyway. I felt vindicated last night though as the German TV chef Bjorn Freitag cooked lamb with mint sauce!! That is one of the things that Germans hold up as being a weird British thing! Ha ha ha!! Ok, it was lamb mince in a strudel with mint dip, but it was STILL lamb with mint sauce! (I am actually vegetarian now and I hated lamb when I had to eat it as a child, but the mint sauce did use to improve it!)
|
|
mrgbh
Full Member
Posts: 188
|
Post by mrgbh on Apr 12, 2015 20:14:00 GMT
Best food in the world? Roast bacon joint. Don't need to add anything. I could just eat that all day, even after it's gone cold.
|
|
|
Post by maitri on Apr 13, 2015 15:00:11 GMT
My husband is the main source of annoyances.
He thinks playing the guitar is the epitome of cool (but hasn't the patience or ability to play himself). Whenever we're driving somewhere and we have the ol' XM set to a rock station, he'll run one hand like he's holding a guitar pick and riffing against his leg. Dude, you do NOT know how to play. Stop it. You look like a poser. Also it's distracting to see that constantly going on from the corner of my eye, so I have to forcibly stare out the passenger window to avoid it.
People telling me to smile. I'm autistic (Asperger's) - this is just my face! I'm not pissed off, I'm not sad, I'm not depressed, I'm not tir-- well, I'm a little tired. Seriously. I just started a new job and they've been awesome and they know about my Aspie-ness. But not everyone is aware. I was sitting here working this morning and some random dude walked by my office and had to stop and tell me to "Smile! We can't have anyone not smiling!" Ugh. If my boss had heard, he would have told the guy to back off, but whatever. I smiled for the bastard.
People saying things like "No. Just no." It's overused and I'm sick of it. I also have a hatred for the phrase "I'm sorry for your loss." It's just so trite and the standard formula for cops on TV shows to say to grieving family and such. Whenever I hear it, I roll my eyes. If the situation calls for it, I just say "I'm so sorry" or "I'm sorry to hear that." Unjustified annoyance, for sure.
|
|
|
Post by yamichan2 on Apr 13, 2015 18:41:30 GMT
The word "whilst". I see it being used more and more often instead of "while". This annoys me. It is technically correct, but it annoys me because every time I see it I feel like someone is trying to write more "correctly". It just sounds odd. All of these are pretty silly reasons and I'm sure most people don't care but I find it annoying.
|
|
|
Post by glasschmetterling on Apr 13, 2015 19:03:17 GMT
I get pissed of every time I click on the "new" before this thread and it instantly takes me to the first page. I've already read that, buddy! Trust me!
|
|
ams1
New Member
Posts: 2
|
Post by ams1 on Apr 13, 2015 22:04:55 GMT
Unjustified annoyances?
I travel to work every morning on the metro and sometimes there's women on there who are sat applying their make-up for the day. I don't mean giving their lips a touch up with lipgloss, I mean the works ... foundation, blusher, eyeliner, eyeshadow and mascara. It lasts the whole journey.
It drives me absolutely insane and I know it shouldn't - why do I let it bother me? But it really really does, lol. I just stand there, thinking, 'Just get out of bed earlier and do your make-up at home like me and every other woman, you lazy sod!'
Also, people who want to get past you in small spaces like shops, but don't alert you to that fact and just wait there looking indignant until you eventually turn round and notice them and say 'Oh sorry,' and they tut and flounce past. I mean - all you have to say is 'Excuse me,' and I would have known you were there and moved earlier!
|
|
|
Post by Jackie on Apr 14, 2015 7:09:27 GMT
My most recent annoyances? Being told that there's no way I have Asperger's Syndrome because "other people do that, too". (I am in the process of getting an evaluation). Especially when they insist I can't have AS because [insert 'I have a cousin who does such and such'] does, and I don't do what they do.
|
|